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The Love Doctor :

This Weeks Question for the Love Doctor comes from a girl who fell in love with best friend and her friend later decides to move on.

Dear Doctor Love,

I am a girl of 20 years, I met a person in my college last year in my class. We soon became best friends and he used to talk to me very affectionately every day. Knowing that he has a girlfriend I fell in love with him and proposed to him. He said that he need some time, and within 1 month my father died by heart problem.

I was very much depressed and this guy hugged me tightly and consoled me and also kissed me. After few days he said that he love me too, we had been very happy. After a few months he started avoiding me saying that he don't want me to loose my career because of him and started hurting me mentally. He finally said the he said "I love u" only to deviate me from my depression and he has no feeling for me and started talking with his girl friend.

I'm not feeling bad that he told me that he don't love me because I know I have done a mistake loving a person who has a girlfriend. I can't avoid him as we both belong to the same college and class and still have 2 more years to study. Looking at him every day I can't be happy at the same time. I want to avoid him, is it the best to avoid him? Please give a good advice that make me live happy.
 

Thanks

Ramya

Dear Ramya,

Thank you for contacting me - the Love Doctor on Enter Chat Room. Our condolences to you regarding your Father's passing. Please log on to the chat room often and meet new friends online to chat your heart out - we hope it will help.

Now Ramya, I'm going to be very honest with you, even though you might find some of my answers as rude and harsh it is the truth.  If you've been reading my love advice, you know by now that I'm not the pampering type.

Ramya, people don't talk affectionately to friends especially when they are in a relationship. It was wrong to propose to him knowing very well he had a girlfriend, and he was an idiot to tell you to give him time to think about it.  He should have said no, but he was already sweet talking with you so he had a thing for you too.

Then your Dad moved on.  A true friend can console you without getting into your underwear.  You were in a state of shock and depression and your best took advantage of you - period. He betrayed the trust you had for him as a best friend when he kissed you.  Now that he has what wants he wants to move on with his old girlfriend? Does his girlfriend knows he was dating you? If she did and have accepted him back after months of rocking with you then she is equally stupid as her boyfriend. Birds of the same feather flock together isn't it.  People in Ghana have a saying that "love makes people do foolish things" and the three of you just confirms that.  Sorry for being harsh on you, but that's my style.

And what in the world does he mean by he don't want you to loose your career because of him.  Do you work for his girlfriend?

So you're in the same class? No problem girl.  Just be polite and nice to him in class and avoid him after.  No one can hurt you mentally unless you give them the chance. Make yourself happy. And remember you cannot be best friends otherwise he'll continue kissing anytime you fail an exam, dump you weeks later and say I was just consoling you.  Get back to him by studying hard an excelling in your classes more than him.  With time you will find true love again and gradually forget about him.

To everyone else, do not date someone in your class, work, neighborhood or place of worship.  Things get difficult when there is a break up.

Your one and only love Doctor.